Wt did u really Ask???

Have u ever asked someone about their relationship history?
When u did what did you really want to find out? How much emotional baggage are they carrying? What was the probability of running into an Ex? Their history of sexual activity?
Or just what went wrong before?

There can be a different view of each answer, and each can be as tricky. Not asking the right question will not give u the right answer. Because
“In a relationship sometimes, U could be anchored without any physical relationship or not anchored at all even with a physical relationship.”

What running all over my mind right now is which is more a matter of concern. Of course to different people different things can matter. So in pursuit of the answer we desire to know we may need to ask the right question.

There are also people who have a blank slate for relationships history. To me even that can be a matter of concern. As tat could mean there is a confusion in the state of the persons. Is it fear, of being hurt or just being bound down tat keeps them a poles distance from any kind of emotional anchoring or is it a lack of insight to see thing move in steps, u just cant jump to the safe step, risk nd dare is a part of the growing process and it cannot be passed over.

Like I have said before, no one wants bad thing to happen to them. No one will get into anything thinking/knowing its going to hurt them, but as time passes thing change, people change, everything changes and an imprint of such changes is a aftermath of things not going as planned/foreseen. So what can u do about it? Carry on, make some more changes to accommodate the previous irregularities.


To be continued……….

A tomorrow for tomorrow.

tomorrow is another day,
tomorrow never comes,
tomorrow never dies,
tomorrow is forever.

put all of them together and u will realize it basically means what is not today is in tomorrow, a day tat will never come. "Tomorrow" is a word we dont need. its just an illusion we create to put of wt we cannot complete today,now. fro every time we put something for tomorrow it just seem indefinitely postponed. positive or not something put off for 2moro will painful not happen for a long time.

today we stand to lose a lot in the Dog eat Dog world. Today before you can think of doing something some passes you who is all ready doing it.!! i put off many things for a lot of tomorrow's nd i have suffered for my own mistakes but still time and again thing appear to happen so easily in the illusion of time called tomorrow.

even to now as u and i think lets not do this again a thought passes "from 2mro I am gonna try not 2 put of things for tomorrow." - yes from tomorrow. not now. not today. but tomorrow. :)

is there an end to this TOMORROW?

well here i am again, signing into the blog, thinking now i have all the time in the world 2 write something. aftet so long this is a new piece on the blog, ya i had been busy or rather to lazy to actually write anything (who reads anyways).

but now again like once before (i am referring 2 the time i created the blog) i have a surge of emotions 2 use my rusting head and put it to whatever little strain that is needed 2 write about something. so here i am again thinking, remembering, ticking to write something.

in the past year tat i was not here i did have plenty to write about, i even started some pieces but i never got around to finishing those. now those incomplete quick motes i made on my "PDA" just lie there. i cant finish them now, its no use trying because most of these are results of emotional bursts on occurrence of various illogical evens inevitably ever so often. once the moment passes, well its over. so the next post is just those notes, incomplete, unedited, random. just for the heck of it. :)

incomplete Notes from when i was not here.

1.

Hello world!! Bye world!! I don’t care world!!

What world? Huh ? what???

Hell with all the thinking about everything else exept what has 2 be thought about a.k.a.

!! ME !!

That’s whats happning with all the focus on finding the answers to all the questions of life, which even if answered probably wont save us the hard work of existing and living day as it comes and passes. In this chaos I have forgotten myself. No moer, not now not ever again am I gonna lose myself in this excessive clatter of voices in the so called ‘intelligent, superior being’ world (aint I a part of it?? Am trying not 2 be).

Calvin : sometimes I think the surest sign of intelligent life exists elsewhere is that they haven’t tried to contact us yet.

2.

Don’t regret the decisions u made, because u made them…

Why do I regret doing sonethin I did, why do I regret saying what I said, why do I curse myself for making a choice.. why?? Why now?? Why did I not do what I wanted to when it could be done and hade to be ??? why now am I regretting now that which had to be done has been done and maybe nothing will change that now…

Well I faintly remember that what I did was done because then I had made a choice, I did think twice before it was done,

What was done was done with me in my senses, with my willingness and free will. I shouldn’t regret that which was done by me because then I thought it was the right thing… how can I call myself wrong when I know it maybe really is not…

3.

I am what I am,

What I must be,

Not wt u want me 2 be,

But that which I am...

I live lost in the wonders of the free mind, powered by the sounds of expressive music. Crazy as it may sound life’s just an illusion, like a room full of crooked mirrors, moving and changing with every move u make, every decision u take, life is serious. In the most careless of ways. I drift through the nonsense of the world overflowed with thought and expression, exploding every instant to a proportion never imagined before. Wars are waged, battles are won, lives are lost and the dead celebrate their escapism from the physical forms inconsiderate of the aftermath of their doing and undoing. To catastrophic words and thoughts spoken the world breaks apart swallowing me whole, and its hunger remains...

dont be a fool

Things are happening around us, many are good most aren't. its happening, to every someone, and another someone. maybe someone you know, always some you don't.
i am talking about all the things in the world worse than death itself.
the murders, the rapes,
the suicides, the AIDS,
the crimes, the.........


the are happening so close to our faces im surprised there's no blood on me. yet we over look them.
once again for the billionth time we think nd say to ourselves- not me, it happens to others, the weaker people, the stupider people, them - NOT ME!

of course why you. how nice would it have been it those things knocked your door then asked permission to enter and u had the option of turning them down by just saying "not me! u cant happen to me."u nd i could just turn them down nd live happly ever after. but we are not. I AM NOT. if u are now, I know it wont be the same forever.

did u ever think what the person might have been thinking when any of the above things happend to him? i dont think so.


--"i cant drink and drive, still il drive after getting pissed drunk" *crash* "oh lucky me!"--
do u think he was thinking that???? NO!
he was thinking:
"i can drive after a few drinks and I am not really high, beside wt can happed to me?" *crash*
"i wish i had been more careful"
dont dig this? here's another eg. wt was the girl thinking before sleeping with the guy she met at the club.??
---"oh the guy has AIDS, lets take him back 2 my place nd have some unprocted fun" *some days later* "yippie!! i 2 have AIDS"--- i dont think so.

i say this because i know. i have realized i am as much as a part of the other 6,602,224,175 odd people sharing this planet with me. One of the
99.99999999% OF THE PEOPLE WHO FEEL/FELT INVULNERABLE.

all am trying to say here is dont be a fool and regret doing/not doing somthing later. if something can go wrong, can bet ur ass it will. dont stop living ur life because of it, but just take ur precaution, nd take chances only on properly calculated risks.
(optional choice: realize ur a fool nd do whatever u feel like and dont regret it later )

what to do...

sittin here....
again the the burden of thought. the weight on my shoulders. looking down upon the view of the steel desert calling to consume, or maybe to make ones adrenaline rush or just to make everyone sick. the impulse to flap the wings and fly away is strong. the freedom calls, the breeze whispers calling again. even here there are voices calling. wont there be peace??????


decide again so once again it will be scrutinised and result in the banging of head into a wall in regret that shouldn't be. as always Theres none to help, none to guide.
fall freely and rise could solve the problem but that could be the only chance. some say thats stupid, some say its the best way to be. again a fork in the path. another chance to look back and mourn the past, the present that could be.

From my past relations I have learned…

From my past relations I have learned…


All people say u shouldn’t give away every part of yourself to the person u consider your love,
Because they fear the person will hurt them, harm them, cause injury that won’t heal easily. They believe by keeping their one part to themselves hidden away they are doing shielding themselves from impairment of their heart, but they dot realize the price of the protection.

Most people tell me that they learned from their relations that they shouldn’t give themselves to the person they ”LOVE” cos that makes u prone to damage from the person. They feel that if someone knew them inside out they would exploit the knowledge (which they will by human nature law section control sub-section exploitation). But I say the key here is to open your eyes and see beyond the love, beyond the care and memories and see the real person he/she is, their true nature, the way they really are. Not the person they become when they come into your proximity. Then justify if the person you are trusting is worthy of the elemental part of u, the one you don’t want any one around.

Yeah that might sound a little 2 far-fetched to find someone capable of such trust, but it’s a big world out there u just have to open your eyes and mind and forge through the crowds. And sometimes things have a tendency to land up in places where u least expect them.


Coming to the part about what I have learned is that when u really want something, or in this case really want things to workout you have to give it ur best shot, everything u got, only then you will really know your limits are. And still u fail you should not be disappointed at the failure but be proud to have recognized your own boundaries. The quest for happiness from there on will seem a lot easier than it ever seemed because u now know everything and leave nothing for fate, luck or chance. It will be like arming yourself to the teeth wit weapons you have mastered, you will be able to use them in combat to the max of their limits.